SWIRLING

The morning sky this week has been ablaze with color; rich fuchsia on Tuesday and deep twinges of pink this morning, but I am not talking to the Creator and was a bit furious the heavens dared to be so gorgeous. How can the sun rise day after day, heedless to the world's loss and pain? Regardless of the hurt and heartache you are going through, the deep dark of night will fade and the morning come to light your way. The way... that is the hard part. How do we walk through Christmas with disappointment, discontentment and even devastation in our hearts while expectations swirl all around us like snowflakes on a winter morn.

I missed the Ladies Christmas Brunch yesterday; it just couldn't be done. I curled up in a chair with the “Better Homes and Gardens” December issue and cried into my tea. One of my dear friend's sons died over the weekend, twenty-seven years old. Too soon, too young, too tragic, too close to Christmas; I want to scream, “God, can't you see?”

Of course He sees. He counts my friend's tears, “Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll- are they not in your record?” Psalm 56:8 It isn't really “in” to talk about grief and pain and sorrow as we prepare for Christmas, but under the wrapping, shopping, running and baking some of our hearts are breaking.

Praying today I found myself yelling at God, “What do you expect me to do? How am I to carry on and “do” the holidays. God Gently whispered, "Just come to Me, child.” I imagined myself, very small, crawling onto God's lap, so to speak, and do you know what happened? I wept, sobbed, tears pouring down my face for all the losses those I love have suffered. I rose from me knees with the weight of grief just a little lighter and the knowledge that I am held, I am loved and that I do not need to carry on; He will carry me and those I love. 

Are you mourning? He comes to you as Emmanuel, God with us.

Medicine from Sacred Scripture:

“Praise be to the Lord, to God, our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” Psalm 68:19