“I am looking for fruit in My garden, in our vineyard, fruit that will last. You know these fruits, for though you hold them up for the world to see, I see precious little of this in your soul: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. These are not responses, child, you practice in moments of calm or crisis, these flow from deep within your soul."
The words in prayer surprised me, I felt a bit chastised, not having connected my inward aridity with what I present to the world. It isn’t a difficult disconnect. “I will try harder,” I tell myself as the schedule intensifies and the pressure mounts, and inwardly I am either melting down or boiling over.
If my soul is a vineyard and God desires fruit, He might want to reconsider and look in my kitchen instead. I can do berries, I can make jam, rows and rows of jars line my counter now, but inward peace and stillness, a gentle and quiet spirit. I am afraid God is looking in the wrong soul. Or is He?
The last Lindt Chocolate Easter bunny sat forlornly on my shelf, I waited and waited for it to be eaten, but no one took a bite. So I melted it down, making chocolate covered strawberries. It seemed a delightful endeavor at the moment, but now it seems almost a picture of what God is asking. Will I take Easter joy, which I embraced then, and let it spill over onto my everyday life? Will I stop waiting for something to change around me and let the change happen within me? Will I refuse to boil over internally or melt into a heap of tears and instead look to the One who says, “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5
The night won’t be shorter, but the promise of God’s joy being my strength, will see me through.
Are you melting down or boiling over? Need joy? Be still and know He is God and in that stillness ask Him for the grace you need for the day ahead.
Medicine from Sacred Scripture:
“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10
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