EASTER'S MELTING

“I am looking for fruit in My garden, in our vineyard, fruit that will last. You know these fruits, for though you hold them up for the world to see, I see precious little of this in your soul: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. These are not responses, child, you practice in moments of calm or crisis, these flow from deep within your soul."

The words in prayer surprised me, I felt a bit chastised, not having connected my inward aridity with what I present to the world. It isn’t a difficult disconnect. “I will try harder,” I tell myself as the schedule intensifies and the pressure mounts, and inwardly I am either melting down or boiling over.

If my soul is a vineyard and  God desires fruit, He might want  to reconsider and look in my kitchen instead. I can do berries, I can make jam, rows and rows of jars line my counter now, but inward peace and stillness, a gentle and quiet spirit. I am afraid God is looking in the wrong soul. Or is He?

The last Lindt Chocolate Easter bunny sat forlornly on my shelf, I waited and waited for it  to be eaten, but no one took a bite. So I melted it down, making chocolate covered strawberries. It seemed a delightful endeavor at the moment, but now it seems almost a picture of what God is asking. Will I take Easter joy, which I embraced then, and let it spill over onto my everyday life? Will I stop waiting for something to change around me and let the change happen within me? Will I refuse to boil over internally or melt into a heap of tears and instead look to the One who says, “Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

The night won’t be shorter, but the promise of God’s joy being my strength, will see me through.

Are you melting down or boiling over? Need joy? Be still and know He is God and in that stillness ask Him for the grace you need for the day ahead.

Medicine from Sacred Scripture:

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

KEEPING EASTER IN MY HEART

How do I find a space in my heart for the wonder of Easter to continue, for the miracle to keep unfolding, for the power of the Resurrection to transform my life? These seem to be weighty, heavy, theological questions, but I am in need of weight and power and some kind of glory to inform the daily. Each time I read the papers, watch the news, indeed live my days in a broken world I feel fragile and somehow unable to meet life's demand for courage and fearlessness. I'd like to hide in an upper room if I could find one.

Yesterday I found my car driving to the coast~ for light, warmth, and perspective. I could not have faced the candlelight vigil for the two little girls slain in our town if I had not first had my own vigil at the ocean.

"The Lord is a great God. the great King above all gods.

 In His hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to Him. 

The sea is His, for He made it, and His hands formed the dry land.

 Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our God our Maker; 

for He is our God and we are the people of His pasture, 

the flock under His care." 

Psalm 95:3-7

I must bow when my heart is breaking; I must kneel when I cannot understand. I know this is a tragedy localized to our little town in rural New Hampshire, and yet it encompasses the suffering of the world somehow. How can evil have so much sway and how do I respond? 

"When I said, "My feet are slipping," 

Your love, O Lord, supported me. 

When anxiety was great within me, 

Your consolation brought joy to my soul." 

Psalm 94:19

~Hope is the anchor for our soul ~ 

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. 

It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain where Jesus, who went before us, 

has entered on our behalf." 

Hebrews 6:19, 20

In our deepest sorrow and confusion, in our lack of understanding, it is our soul that must lead: "Your consolation brought joy to my soul...we have this hope as an anchor for our soul." We cannot lean on our own understanding, but must see what God has to say. When calamity was upon the Israelites in Habakkuk's day , he said this:

"I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; 

I will look to see what He will say to me...

For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord 

as the waters cover the sea." 

Habakkuk 2:1, 14

Have you stopped to look and see what God would say to you?

Medicine from Sacred Scriptures:

I keep asking the the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparable power for us who believe. That power is like the working of His mighty strength which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms." 

Ephesians 1:17-20

LENT'S FINAL WORDS

"It is finished"

Jesus speaking from the Cross 

John 19:30

TEARS IN LENT

Jesus weeps over death; the One who comes to bring us new life, weeps. Let this comfort your heart. Jesus declares: "I Am the Resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this? John 11:25 Yet He is mourning and sorrowing with His friends. Jesus holds the tension. He brings life, He knows there is life coming, and yet, He walks in the world filled with sadness and despair and death.

"When Jesus saw Mary weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. Where have you laid him? He asked. 

"Come and see, Lord," they replied.

Jesus wept." 

John 11:33-35

"Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." 

Proverbs 4:23 

In times of inexplicable grief and trauma; we grieve, mourn and weep, but must be careful of what is in our hearts, and be mindful of how we think and believe. We are called to hold the tension Jesus held: He was bringing new life even as He grieved. We accuse God of so many things when tragedy strikes, "Where were you?" As if the God who made us could ever be separated from us.

"Who shall separate us from the love Christ?" Paul asks in Romans, and then goes on to list things..."Shall trouble, or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, not anything else in all creation, 
will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." 
Romans 8:35, 37-39

"My Child, I know when the smallest sparrow falls from the sky. Do you really believe I have not seen the tragedy, the senseless lives that were not spared? Trust Me. You cannot understand because My ways are higher than your ways.  I know the suffering and pain causes your heart to rebel against me, but I want you to be quieted by My love, Let ME sing over you. I set My face like a flint towards Jerusalem so that I might make all things new, that I might destroy death and bring Life. Give the ache in your heart for these little ones to Me. Give Me the sadness and sorrow. If the angels of the little children always see the face of My Father, how much more, now,  do these children see the face of My Father. Trust me. Grieve  over evil and death and the world's sorrow and sadness, but hold My love closer to your heart than all this pain. Do not lose sight of My love, the love that led Me to the Garden, to the Cross and to the Tomb. This Love has power to make all things new, to bring life. Know that these little ones are safely in the bosom of their heavenly Father, My Love brought them there."

Medicine from Sacred Scripture:

"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of My Father." 

Matthew 18:10

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them falls to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." 

Matthew 10: 29-31

"I offered My back to those who beat Me, My cheeks to those who pulled out My beard; I did not hide My face from mocking and spitting. Because the Sovereign Lord helps Me I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set My face like  flint, and I know I will not be put to shame." 

Isaiah 50:6, 7

"He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief."

 Isaiah 53:3

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain for the old order of things has passed away. He who was sitting on the throne said, 

"I am making all things new!" 

Revelation 21:4, 5

TERROR IN LENT

How can innocent children be murdered~ for their faith, for their place in the world: vulnerable, trusting, defenseless. I cannot fathom, my heart cannot comprehend the horror, the last thoughts, the senselessness of it all. How, in some places, in the name of religion children are martyred and in suburbia, children are found lifeless in their own home. Heaven help us.

"Yet this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His mercies never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:21-22   

Weep and wail, we must; scream and cry, "It can't be, it isn't so." But it is. "Weeping may endure for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5  Morning seems impossibly far from me; mourning wraps my heart in fear and terror. "Rejoice in the Lord always, I say it again, rejoice." Philippians 4:4 seems like a cruel command in the face of such violence. And yet, it is our hope, our only prayer, for Paul shows us next what will see us through any storm: "The Lord is near."  Philippians 5a It is as if God whispers:

"Rejoice, My Child, I am near. I will carry you through this sorrow, I will hold you as you grieve. The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon Me ~ for you~ I have been anointed to bind up your broken-heart, to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve. I will provide for you, My Child, even in this grief that you find unbearable. My light will wake you when the terror of this nightmare threatens to undo you; when your feet slip on the chaos evil has strewn on your path I will hold you fast."

"Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." 

 Jesus' words from the Cross 

Luke 23:34

The One who suffered violence at the hands of evil men, who stumbled under the weight of a cross of shame came to set us free from sin and death that evil might hold sway no longer. We know that these children, taken from life before they had lived their days to the full, find themselves before the face of a Loving Father. He wraps them in His arms, and whispers:

"Welcome Home, My child. I know you were frightened, but I was always with you. My love held you, My unfailing love was your comfort. It was all a shadow land, a passing vapor, and now you are here! You are with me today in paradise and I am so glad you are Home. 

Nothing will ever harm you on my Holy Mountain." 

Medicine from Sacred Scripture:

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on Me, 

because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor. 

He has sent Me to bind up the broken-hearted...

to comfort all who mourn, 

and provide for those who grieve." 

Isaiah 61: 1a,b  2b, 3a

"May your unfailing love be my comfort" 

Psalm 119:76

"Jesus answered, I tell you the truth, today you will be with Me in paradise."

 Luke 23:43

"Behold I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind...They will neither harm nor destroy on all My holy mountain, says the Lord." Isaiah 65:17, 25

SAME OLD LENT?

Last years leaves wither while waiting for Spring to arrive; so much like me this Lent, longing for Lent's revelations to transform me. What have I learned in this stripped season of waiting and struggle? That I am weak. I long to live wholly for God, but my own disordered attachments and affections ~my passions of pride and hurt, unresolved inner longings lead me astray. I cling to the old, the familiar, and find there is no new growth. No surprise there.

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation: the old has gone, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

The old plants are still in their pots, the old bush hangs limply over the pond, but I like structure~ even the form of frozen stems seems beautiful in the winter. Now is the time for new beginnings. I must go out and prune, rip up all that will not bear life and fruit in me. (seems this is what God does in Lent~ show us what is not life-giving). And as for the storms~ that is when the real recovery must begin. The wreckage caused by the storms in our lives- loss of loved ones, betrayals, traumas, misunderstandings, sheer weariness- even this is some kind of storm~ these require even more careful clearing out that we might make room for the new.

Jesus comes and says startling words: 

"I have come that you might have life and life abundant."

 John 10:10

What in your life doesn't look like life? It sounds silly, but it is true. Ask God to walk with you through the spring clean-up in your soul and to speak truth to you and make all things new.

 Have you lost a loved one? Jesus says, "I AM the resurrection and the Life." This promise is to bring you hope.

 Have you suffered a betrayal or misunderstanding and it has blinded you to the love of God? He says to you: "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them. I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do. I will not forsake them." Isaiah 42:16 

Have you lived through trauma and feel trapped in the prison of it? God says to you: "I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places so that you may know I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." Isaiah 45:2-3

What old things are you clinging to when the new has already come?

Medicine from Sacred Writing:

"But behold, both a  new soul, (for it was cleansed,) and a new body, and a new worship, and promises new, and covenant, and life, and table, and dress, and all things new absolutely...instead of circumcision, baptism; instead of the manna, the Lord's body; instead of water from a rock, blood from His side; instead  of Moses' or Aaron's rod, the Cross; instead of the promised land, the kingdom of heaven; instead of a lamb without reason, a Spiritual Lamb. With these and such like things in His thought He said, "all things are new." But "all" these "things are of God," by Christ , and His free gift." 

John Chrysostom   Fourth Century

LOST AND FOUND IN LENT

I carelessly place precious possessions in random locations. My rings, my favorite necklaces, special recipes, these all get lost in living life. I try. I think I will be better and then I forget, I am busy, I don't recall... Where did I last have them? When did I last see them? Our oldest son gave me a beautiful little box for treasures, so I am a bit better these days, though yesterday I noticed my rings in the front pocket of my favorite jeans. Misplaced again. 

I misplace the image of God in me. Lent helps Him be found in me again. Before the fall, before the serpent's twisted logic and words, rang this proclamation through all of creation:

"So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created Him; 

male and female He created them." 

Genesis 1;27

Lent is an opportunity to search..."Search me O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting."  God searches me that I might be more like Him, restoring His image in me. The journey of Lent is like being under the loving gaze of  our heavenly Father who says:


"My child, today you have lost sight of My love for you and what I have created you to be; your spirit is weary and burdened with rules and roles when I would long to look into your heart and see it pure~ filled with love for Me and others. I ask no more, but no less. Do you remember you are Mine and I love you?"


 Psalm 139:23-24 The Psalmist in verse 14 says, " I am fearfully and wonderfully made," but I lose sight of the beauty of my soul  day to day. The call to holiness is to create a space for the Divine in me and to live attentive to my soul.

 

Have we been searched by God and known by Him?

Medicine from Sacred Writings:

"Consider from what evils God delivered us; how great an experiment and demonstration of loving kindness He afforded us! He did not limit his redemption to mere deliverance, but greatly extended the benefit, for He also made you clean... He also filled you with countless blessing. Knowing therefore, these things, beloved, and bearing in mind the greatness of the blessing that has been wrought, let us continue to live soberly, being pure from all things." 

John Chrysostom    Fourth Century

"