JOURNEY WITH THE FATHER

Wondering why I have characters instead of letters on my blog? It is because I posted in the Czech Republic and I can't put the dates back into English! But it is interesting being back from our trip to Munich for two weeks now and looking back. I didn't realize it then, but I wrote a series of poems about my journey with God. Here they are, one at a time so I don't overwhelm you.

Consider how you walk through life- led, loved, guided, cared for? I pray this is so.

"Father,

guide my steps

in this native land.

Faint glimmerings

of innate blessing

stir in my soul.

Unknown paths

of yet to come

infused with

Presence

and protection."

Munich April 2013

Diane Hallenbeck

TERROR'S UNCALCULATED UPSET

"How are you dealing with all the tragedy?" someone asked. A friend's father died, another friend's brother and then there were the bombs and explosions, and my inner world crumbled just a little. Reeling from nonsensical suffering and inexplicable horror I needed a place to find comfort and safety for the frightened side of me; I went to church. "The Lord be with you." That alone is enough to calm my little girl's heart. He will be with me and, though I cannot make rhyme nor reason of the insanity, I can hold on. Someone shelters me and His love is unfailing.

Do you have a refuge in times of trouble?

Medicine from Sacred Writings:

"Nothing could move a person so beloved and who had enjoyed so much providence over him... Do not then be doubtful, if then beaten we get the better of our beaters, if driven out we overcome our persecutors, if dying we put the living to flight. For when you take the power and also the love of God into account...one might learn that those who plotted against them had a war not against men, but against that invincible Might."  St Chrysostom Epistle to the Romans Homily XV NPNF 1.11 pg 456

TRAIN TO MUNICH

Little girls
In pig-tailed smiles
Cry, "Here, here!"
As they board.

Lovingly holding
Hat and readying shoes
Their father
Helps and holds.
One is dark of skin
The other fair as day.

The adopted one
Is safe in embrace
As love covers the journey.

ICE OUT

Ever heard the term, "frozen rage"? I remember years ago someone accusing me of harboring it and I laughed because I was unaware of the smoldering volcano full of years of hidden hurts. I am just now understanding how I am wired and what my heart has been through. Loss of parents and a sibling, grown children leaving home, dear friends dying, aunts dying, friends moving, all the chaos of mid-life and its swirling questions trip up internal wires to unprocessed feelings, like some landmine that was never safely detonated.

This has been a long season of setting off the raging minefield in my soul. Under the surface was unrecognized anger and each new devastation tripped me up exposing the grief, fear and fury. Finally, streams of living water are melting thin ice and life is being restored. Winter is nearly over.

I wonder about your story and how it affects you as you live, move and have your being.

Medicine from Sacred Scripture:

"Then I became in His eyes as one who had found peace." Song of Solomon 8:10

A MOTHER'S TEARS

Easter Monday

 As I prayed Easter morning I imagined Jesus' encounter with His Mother Mary:

I find you in the garden, returning from the tomb, but it is all too much for you. You recall the scenes in your mind and relive the horrors of that night. Over and over in your mind you replay the situation as if your participation in my life could have changed the course of my history. It could not; I was a grown man.

Despair and grief flow from your eyes as, weeping, you realize you cannot comprehend such a loss or any way forward. But you see, this is not the end of the story. I come to you, clothed in light, radiant and full of the joy and peace which eluded me while I walked this earth.

I bore the sorrows of many, loved deeply and suffering greatly, but now I am risen. I am in my Father's Presence day and night interceding for you. Great is my joy, mother. Come now, let me hold you; know my embrace once more for I am filled with joy. I am close to you and I will strengthen you.

Know someone grieving the loss of a child? Share this~ perhaps it will comfort.

Soul Medicine:        ( Chrysostom is talking here of losing a child..."You did but minister at his appearing" speaks of their birth and "the King's property" reminds us our children are not ours- they are God's.)

"You did but minister at his appearing; the whole work was God's own work. Let us give thanks therefore that we have been counted worthy to be His ministers in the matter. But what? Would you have had him for ever? This again proves you grudging, and ignorant that it was another's child which you had, and not your own. As therefore those who part resignedly are but aware that they have what was not theirs; so whoever gives way to grief is in fact counting the King's property his own. For if we are not our own, how can they be ours?" St John Chrysostom Homilies on First and Second Corinthians X.5,6 NPNF12.56