Perhaps the five NorEasters were an indication of what was happening in my soul~ I might have known that the outside would match the inside! I made a Lenten resolution to selflessly love and then the storms came. I loved and shoveled and loved and shoveled and did that again and again. Surgery recuperation prohibited help from my helpmate, so I persevered. Interesting what must be peeled away to serve another selflessly.
It takes courage to look inwardly and grasp the depths of one's self-seeking ways. Dying to self was like living a perpetual winter storm in my soul; winds of selfishness raged as I fought the desire to be right, to give my two cents, to get my own way, to be comfortable. Slowly all this was stripped away and I was left quiet and still. It reminded me of
Isaiah, "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and confidence is your strength," 30:15.
As the weeks ran, week on week, I stumbled and fell, caught in the storm of my soul, and yet, here, on the doorstep of Our Lord's Passion, I find love has entered in. All the whispers of the King of Kings, to know I am loved, to know He is with me, to know He will clothe me with garments of salvation, all these have melted my heart. Within me and without, He has quieted my fearful heart and given me peace. He loves without measure, without hesitation, without failing and without a doubt He carries me to Himself as I join Him on His journey of love. I am learning to walk in the light of His face.
How are you walking as we enter Holy Week?
Medicine from Sacred Writings:
"Paul gives us the Lord Himself for a garment;. the King Himself; for he that is clad with Him has absolutely all virtue. But in saying, "put on Christ" he bids us to be girt about (encircle as if with a belt) with Him on every side... for He would have our soul be a dwelling for Himself, and Himself to be laid round about us as a garment, that He may be unto us all things both from within and from without."
St. John Chrysostom
Epistle to the Romans Homily XXXIV
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