THE KISS

"Why does the sun shine in the morning when I want to sleep?" Appropriate question for a teen at noon on the first day of the New Year. "Why does the sun shine at all?" Another teenage query. Really, can she be serious?

Then the question sinks into my soul. Why does the sun shine on the good and the bad? How can the sun go on shining when wars are being fought, people are dying and children suffering? I wonder. And the sun seeps further in. Some places are so dark in our lives: we want answers and we have none; we want a path, but we lose our way; we want health and we are sick; children and we have none or one to have and hold and love eludes us.

The kiss of the morning sun on that sleepy daughter is priceless; all her days the sun will wake her and wakes me and you just the same. We may not see it, but there is a strong Hand guiding us and a bright new day awaiting us whether we greet it with sleepy eyes, a weary soul, a ready smile- we choose to wake and lift our faces. Will I lift my eyes to my Creator in thanks and praise, allowing my heart to be lit by His light and love, or when my path is difficult will my heart walk in darkness?


Medicine from Holy Scripture:
"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

Ruins are not what we think of on Christmas. We try to make the day beautiful, the memories bright, the laughter fill the air, but we all have places in our lives that don't fit our pretty little picture and we live in a world that sometimes makes no sense at all. On the grounds of Kell's Priory we stumbled upon construction; rubble sifted neatly into piles with some of the older stones affixed with a thin grey line of cement. Interesting that the local name for the priory was "Seven Castles." We, too, are building a castle, though it is not always fit for a King. As Christmas approaches I wonder if we could sift the rubble in our hearts and souls asking the One who made us and knows us to give us wisdom and grace to work on the reconstruction; if we do not  we may find ourselves tripping on the chaos inside us and in the world around us.

Medicine from Ancient Writing:
"Show forth in your life much gentleness, much purity, for we have a King who beholds all our actions continually."
St. John Chrysostom Homilies on St. John Homily V.4 NPNF1: 14.25

BUILDING WELL

 

 

Piles of gingerbread house pieces line the messy countertops as the fragrance of cloves swirls in the air.

Simple traditions fill the days as we prepare for Christmas. Years of baking and assembling these houses with friends and family remind me of the holy call of the season:

I ask God for the grace to help me build well-

A holy dwelling for the King of Kings, a heart filled with grace and truth, a life of love and mercy.

We can only bring the hope we have to those who are hopeless;

We can only light a candle in another’s darkened heart if the

Light resides in ours.

I long for the light of the world to come and warm the hearts of those I love, of those who are hurting in this world.

Diane Hallenbeck 2012

 
"The Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5

CRANBERRY BREAD AND THE GIFT

"Do not let the sun go down on your anger." How can one really live this way?  The emotions, all the stress, the challenges and disappointments take a toll on us and somehow we are to navigate expectation and longing, loneliness and grief all in this season. I stood at my kitchen window, morning sun skimming off the pond, wondering how to not let my emotions define my whole being. What if years have gone down on my anger, never mind the day? Slowly, sorting the berries for bread, I realized that inside I have sifting to do- not every emotion is something to build on; some need to be washed and included, some let go of and some thrown away- not fit for use. Looking back at the ruins of childhood I see anger, sadness, and shame. What a gift. Feel the emotions for sure, but then, after seeing they do not belong in my life I can let them go, hang onto hope and dance in the day I've been given.


Soul Medicine from Ancient Writing
"The reason the devil plunges us into thoughts of despair is that he may cut off the hope which is towards God, the safe anchor, the foundation of our life, the guide of the way which leads to heaven, the salvation of perishing souls. "For by hope," it is said, "we are saved." For this hope is like some strong cord suspended from the heavens supporting our souls and drawing us to heaven."

Chrysostom Fourth Century Letters To The Fallen Theodore Letter 1 NPNF1:9; 2.93

A PLANTING

On a beautiful fall day in County Kerry, Ireland my husband Kevin and I are driven to Muckross Abbey in a horse dawn carriage; sun streams across our faces as we gaze at  the lakes and majestic forest all around us. I beg for us to stop at the ruins so I can have a romp around, the driver concedes wondering at my delight. Each building holds the prayers of the centuries, the stories of the monk's lives, the tragedies that befell them at Cromwell's hands. I turn a corner and am awe-struck; in the middle of the Abbey an ancient Yew tree is growing, planted hundreds of years ago by the Fransiscans.

I have my own ruins, my own tragedy, but if I look carefully I see something was planted in me- life, joy, love, peace, goodness all dwell deeply within. It is in my boys' eyes and my daughter's smile, I am in awe of their dreams and their lives. I walk prayerfully through my ruins inviting God's Presence to meet me there to reclaim some things that were lost. Have you any ruins that need visiting?


Medicine from Holy Scripture:

"They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore places long devestated." Isaiah 61:3, 4

INTRUDERS OR AN INVITATION

Our first stop in Ireland wasn't for a pint of Guinness, but for a taste of history; we sought a monastery established in the 6th century. At Glendalough we were enchanted and drawn deeply into the mystical beauty of the Irish country and Celtic Christianity. What struck  me was the swirling, biting wind stripping the golden leaves and causing them to dance in the air all around us. The bubbling brook led us to the ruins as we took the trail through the moss covered woods.

So like my life, I thought- ruins, broken down buildings, places where there had been invasions and property stolen. As I stood steeped in mystical beauty I realized that ruins can be made holy; the monks from centuries ago prayed through the violence of the intruders interrupting their holy lives. Could I do the same? Could I look back on ruins and pray through them asking the Holy Spirit to bring life and holiness from loss and destruction?


Medicine from Ancient Writings:

We shall go forth to our business with much security if we have made God propitious by prayer; this way we shall have no enemy. Or if we do, we shall laugh him to scorn, having God propitious. There is war in the market place; the affairs of every day are a fight, they are a tempest and a storm. We therefore need arms: prayer is a great weapon. We need favorable winds; we need to learn everything so as to go through the length of the day without shipwrecks and wounds."
St John Chrysostom 4th Century Homilies on Hebrews Homily XIV NPNF1; 9.437

REBUILDING AND REJOICING

So I am on vacation (holiday) in Ireland and have been swept away by the wind at the Cliffs of Moher, but also by the intense beauty and haunting history of the monastic ruins. I can't tell you all about it now, but stay tuned, when I return home I will write about each site and the experience of walking, praying and being there. High crosses, friaries, monasteries, oratories, burial sites; all simply stunning. For now let me say that God has challenged the picture of my childhood as a place of desolation.


Medicine from Holy Scripture:
"And they shall rebuild the old ruins, they shall raise up the former desolation and they shall repair the ruined cities, the desoltations of many generations." Isaiah 61:4-5