COMFORT COSTS

A red cardinal just flew up through the tree outside my window and sits perched on a low hanging branch. No babies to watch, this bird freely soars. An empty nest. A quiet house seems to betray the fact that the boisterous or moody or social one has now flown the coop. Stillness gnaws at the edges of who we are.

How to love and live freely and yet well? How to let go and let God have our children, our friends, our very lives? When roles and responsibilities identify who we are there will be restless yearning as these change- one must face one's self unadorned.

I was accused today of being a, “hands off” mother. And would I want to be one whose talons are forever cutting into the soul of the child who is really not my own? As I allow God to comfort me in the losses there have been sleepless nights and tears, but there has been Presence and joy. Comfort costs me my wants and desires and asks me to create a space where God can meet me. That place is called emptiness. Open your hands and let them go- in this freedom they can live and you will soar.

Medicine from Sacred Writing:

“The God of mercies and Father of all comfort comfort all our hearts, both those who are oppressed by grief and those held down with any other sorrow.”

St. John Chrysostom Homilies on Second Corinthians Homily 1.7; NPNF1.276

HEART-BREAKING BREAD BAKING

Goodbye begins with baking four loaves of cranberry bread, maybe not in your home, but in ours it does. As my hands are busy measuring and making my heart pounds with a hundred different questions: Did I make his favorite food? Did I have enough conversations that reached his heart? Have we said all we need to say to send this one into the world ready?

Your house may not be filled with the fragrance of baking, but this one is- I love in the ways I hold most dear and trust that all this food has fed their souls as well. Perhaps the cinnamon rolls have spoken welcome and belonging when I have not, maybe the oatmeal bread has filled their hearts with warmth and a sense of home as nothing else will. I do what I can do- and you will do the same. You will try to cram all the years of a child growing into so many hugs and so many words. It is enough, they will remember, and you will always be home if you are willing to let go; if you do not, there is no place to return to. One cannot return when one is tethered.

So, be brave, bake the bread, do the shopping- whatever will settle your heart's questions and know love will bring them home. Crumbs of cranberry bread left on the counter remind me that Saturday's plane ride is fast approaching, but as I plan elaborate meals this one informs me he is leaving today for the call of Mount Mansfield and a long bike ride. “Mom, I'll be back Thursday...” for a few days and then the long goodbye.

Medicine from Sacred Scripture:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain...” Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4, 5

VISITORS

A few Sundays ago I heard about Abraham welcoming strangers in Genesis Chapter 18; a lovely story that nudged me to listen to God in prayer. As I sat in church here's what He said:

“Child, I would like you to welcome Me as Abraham welcomed his guests. Let me be the Guest in your soul. Welcome Me and and welcome those I send you.” Obviously I must need a bit of help in the hospitality department - God had to use the word, “welcome,” four times in three sentences!

I thought God was patronizing; I had prepared for company coming- Tyler's girlfriend, Rae, but I had to stretch myself to welcome our oldest son's friend and then my sister and her guest. Dinners were chaotic- two chickens roasted, any number of vegetables peeled and cooked, home made bread defrosted and inhaled. As I set aside my hostess hat and listened to conversations around the dinner table I was amazed at the laughter, the questions raised and the love offered by our family.

My heart needed to be ready to welcome people, not just entertain them, realizing they came seeking, hungry and needy. Only as I welcomed Christ into my soul could I be fit to receive them into my home.

Have any company coming soon that need more than a cup of tea and a bite to eat? Maybe they need comfort, connection, hope or healing? 

Medicine from Sacred Writings:

“Abraham looked around in order that he might hospitably entertain the stranger. He didn't cover his roof with gold, but fixed his tent near the oak and was content with the shadow of its leaves. Yet, so illustrious was his lodging, that angels were not ashamed to tarry with him; for they sought not the splendor of abode, but virtue of soul.”

St. Chrysostom Concerning the Statutes Homily II. 15; NPNF 9.349